Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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