Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I enjoy the company of your penis
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