Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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