remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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