who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I accidentally had phone sex last night
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
