Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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