Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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