either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
