I am in a vortex of obligation.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
