you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
