I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
