the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
