Buhtt sex?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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