I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
