PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
