should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
