I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
