Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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