just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
