Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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