I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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