I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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