It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
