get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
