i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
