Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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