Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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