Your dad touched me again.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
