I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
this hospital has no fireball
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
