This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
