singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
