Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>

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(770): View more from Georgia

just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.

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(909): View more from California

He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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(303): View more from Colorado

So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

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(415): View more from California

i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation

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(816): View more from Missouri

Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person

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