make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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