Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
