I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
