Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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