...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
