Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
