pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
