"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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