ugly people sure do ruin things
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
