maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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