I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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