I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize