How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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