Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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