Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Actions speak louder than pants.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
