It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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