you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
