never play flip cup with pint glasses
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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