I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm both gender and math confused
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
